Paan Singh Tomar

Rating: 7
Release Date: 2nd March, 2012
Time: 135 minutes
Director & Writer: Tigmanshu Dhulia; Music : Abhishek Ray
Starring : Irrfan, Mahie Gill, Zakir Hussain, Vipin Sharma, Imran Hasnee, Nawazuddin Siddiqui, Rajendra Gupta

Stop me when you think you’ve seen or heard it before. We in India treat our sporting heroes badly. If you’re poor, God help you because the system wont. Might is right, especially in villages. Our policemen are steeped in corruption, the court system inefficient. Justice delayed is justice denied. Ultimately, after a point trying the right way, you have no option left but to resort to violence.

The fact that, despite knowing all of the above, despite knowing where the story is heading, you still are engaged for 2 hours is a tribute to a fantastic performance by Irrfan, a very good ensemble cast, very funny dialogue and crisp editing.

Paan Singh Tomar, an army recruit, was naturally gifted as an athlete. He decided to join sports as the meager rations of the military men could not satisfy his voracious appetite. He wins many races, sets many records and then to solve a land dispute in his village, he takes premature retirement. Ultimately, the same dispute escalates, makes him take up arms and rebel against the system.

The setting, in the feared ravines of Chambal, with villages, along the UP and MP border. The rustic lingo and the one liners. The whole sequence involving the journalist. The deadpan delivery of Irrfan. His mannerisms and eccentricities. The omnipresent spectre of violence in that belt. Its an environment that really works, a setting that is rich and unusual enough to make you follow what is happening on screen.

I wish the second half was shorter. I wish it was all not so predictable. I wish things unfolded differently. I wish

One of the most telling dialogues in the film is the difference between a dacoit and a rebel. The system labels you a dacoit. But in reality you are a rebel, a product & outcome of the very same failed system. Paan Singh Tomar, after this film, stands taller in my eyes and that’s where the success of this film lies.

Chillar Party

Rating : 5/10
Release Date : 8th July, 2011
Time : 130 minutes
Director & Writer : Nitesh Tiwari, Vikas Bahl; Music : Amit Trivedi
Starring : Irrfan Khan, Sanath Menon, Rohan Grover, Naman Jain, Aarav Khanna, Vishesh Tiwari, Chinmai Chandranshuh, Vedant Desai, Sherya Sharma, Divji Handa

Its fun, its feisty, its funny but its just way too long.

Till about the half way mark you’re not even sure what the film is about. Is it about the kids in Chandan Nagar, the gang known as Chillar Party, and their cricket battle with their oversized neighbourhood kids ? Is it about their battle with the new kid who washes the cars, accompanied by his dog ? Is it about each of them and their individual relationships with their parents ? Or is it to do with the minister, who is promising a terror free Mumbai of a different kind ?



The kids are endearing, some of their jokes funny, the parents come across very nicely & naturally. Amongst the funnier episodes are those involving their nicknames (Akram, Panauti & Jhangiya taking the cake), Panauti’s sudden new found love for milk and the slow tapori-isation of the group, thanks to Phatka.



On the con side, it’s a loose script, even the end meanders, the casting of the villain could’ve been better & the ending itself was intentionally made too soppy. It also lacked the wow moments – the ones that will stand out & bear repeat viewing (as in Home Alone or even Alvin & the Chipmunks). Even Amit Trivedi’s music lacked its usual zing, seemed similar to his earlier efforts


It’s a nice effort, kept light and breezy for the most part. Not sure how kids will react to it but I wish it was at least 20 minutes shorter….

Delhi Belly

Rating : 8/10
Release Date : 1st July, 2011
Time : 102 minutes
Director : Abhinay Deo; Writer : Akshat Verma; Music : Ram Sampath
Starring : Imran Khan, Vir Das, Kunaal Roy Kapur, Shenaz Treasurywala, Poorna Jagannathan, Vijay Raaz

“Once, from a man who's crotch was itchy,
Kunaal had a masala chicken tandoori.
His rumblings abdominal,
then became truly phenomenal,
And smelly to the highest degree !"

Irreverent, spicy, fast paced and very, very funny


Imran, Kunaal and Vir are room mates. They try not to do the domestic chores for which its their turn. Water scarcity, filth and unwashed clothes & bodies abound in their abode. They’re quite different to each other but seem to get along quite well.


Imran is one of the serious types, into good, investigative journalism and a conscientious worker as proven by the different situations in which he takes a work phone call. His new, attractive colleague (Poorna) feels he should loosen up and an untimely erection suggests she may be right. His girlfriend (Shenaz), one of the self-obsessed, vacuous types, feels they should get married soon and her parents gift him a new car which is described as “what comes out when a donkey fucks a cycle rickshaw” by the irrepressible Kunaal .

“Did they shave your head before they tried to hang you ?”

Kunaal, a photo-journalist, works with Imran & is also into blackmail, eating out and is the reason behind the films title. Not averse to the simpler pleasures of life, he is also the reason why Vir can never drink orange juice again.

“Can you make the banana a little more sad ? By 7%”

Vir, a cartoonist, is happily going out with his girlfriend, Ritu, or so he thinks. His song of angst, ‘Jaa Chudail’ is a classic. He’s not happy at work, his voice undergoes a major change towards the end of the film but soon that’s going to be the least of his worries


The movie itself revolves around a package delivery which is treated extremely casually by Shenaz and the three room mates. In the end, a wrong one gets delivered, and the very angry recipient, Vijay Raaz, lets the four of them feel his wrath. Subplots involving a blackmail gone wrong and a kathak dancer only add to the fun and mayhem.



“And because I’m a 21st century man, I too have given your daughter oral pleasure”

A fantastic background score, superb dialogue, a zany sense of urban, tongue in cheek humour ensure that the viewing experience is great. The decision to run it without an interval deserves applause as it ensures the pace never flags. I liked the fact that screen time was shared quite equally between the room mates and just because he is the hero, Imran didn’t get treated differently.

I felt Aamir’s much talked about item number was unnecessary, didn’t work for me. The film is clearly inspired by the Guy Ritchie school of film-making (and at least one scene is a direct lift from one of his).

"Your ass is like a solar eclipse”

In a country where mindless films are also called comedies, this is an example of what the genre could and should really be about. Several laugh out loud moments are guaranteed, this one is going to bear repeated viewing !

We Are Family

Rating : 4/10
Release Date : 2nd September, 2010
Time : 115 minutes
Director, Co-writer : Siddharth Malhotra; Co-Writer : Karan Johar (Remake of Step Mom); Music : Shankar, Ehsaan, Loy
Starring : Kajol, Kareena Kapoor, Arjun Rampal, Nominath Ginsberg, Aachal Munjal, Diya Sonecha
The film is created / constructed with the sole objective to lubricate your eyes & give your tear glands a thorough work out. Also, since I’ve not seen Stepmom, I can only comment on this film, not on how good or bad it is as a remake.


Arjun Rampal has divorced Kajol three years ago. She lives separately with their three kids (eldest daughter is 13, son is 7-8 or thereabouts and youngest daughter is about 5). Arjun and Kajol seem amicable enough about this relationship, he seems to have free visitation rights, takes kids home for the weekend, attends b’day parties, school functions etc. Arjun now dates / lives in with Kareena and decides its high time she became friendly with the kids. Kareena makes an honest effort but it doesn’t seem to be really working, leading to fights between Arjun, Kajol and Kareena. Will they ever be able to make this work ?


The first half is reasonably frothy. Kareena’s sometimes misplaced efforts are fun to watch as is the kids reaction to them. The rare moments of fun between Kajol / Arjun and the kids also occur around here. The scenery is lovely, the beauty of Australia coming through.


The issues, though are many. We don’t really understand Arjun’s character. What does he think of Kajol ? Or Kareena ? How important are either to his life ? Cause he seems to flit from one to another reasonably randomly. We don’t have any dialogue where Kajol and Arjun really communicate without sinking into platitudes or the routine ‘where are you’ kind of phone calls. Actually, thinking about it, most of the good dialogues are already revealed via the promo’s and apart from the tear-jerker stuff, there’s not much else to discover in the film.


The kids acted well but were given horrible characters to play. They were made to behave like kids of yore, too innocent, too sweet, too clingy, almost like the kids portrayed 15 years ago in Hindi films. Not at all like the street smart kids of today who’re sometimes even more aware than the parents of whats going on around them. Arjun, throughout the film, seems to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, perpetually frowning. Kajol is fine, her eyes expressive as always. I found Kareena quite vivacious, her expressions spot on and mannerisms great in a reasonably tough character role. She brought some much needed life into the film.

Someone told me that the film brought to life the worst nightmare that she as a woman could think of. For most guys as well, the film will be their worst nightmare, but for entirely different reasons.

Peepli [Live]

Rating : 7/10
Release Date : 13th August, 2010
Time : 104 minutes
Director & Writer : Anusha Rizvi; Music : Indian Ocean, Bhadwai Musicians, Mathais Duplessy
Starring : Omkar Das Manikpuri, Raghuvir Yadav, Shalini Vatsa, Malaika Shenoy, Nawazuddin Siddiqui, Farukh Jaffar, Sitaram Panchal, Naseeruddin Shah, Jugal Kishore

Near every city lies a village where life couldn’t be more different to what we city slickers are accustomed to. Farmer suicides, an unchanging harsh life, forgotten people, poverty, lack of infrastructure, corrupt cops, all powerful officials and politicians, an agrarian economy, casteist vote banks. Peepli [Live] is a film that re-introduces us to that world once again, very simply, without too much sermonizing and with a great deal of humour


Natha (Omkar) and Budhia (Raghuvir) are two brothers who’s ancestral agricultural land is about to be auctioned off by the nationalised bank due to their defaulting on a loan. They beg the local politician cum don (Sitaram) to save them but he & his henchman jokingly suggest that they commit suicide wherein the govt would give them compensation of Rs one lac. Budhia then tricks his simpleton brother to agree to the suicide unleashing a storm of protest. First from Natha’s feisty wife, Dhaniya (Shalini) and their bed-ridden foul mouthed mother, Amma (Farukh) and then later, when the story breaks, thanks to a local journalist Rakesh (Nawaz), from everyone and anyone. Local politicians, cops, media, the agricultural minister (Naseeruddin Shah), the bureaucracy, the chief minister, all find themselves drawn into the Natha story. But no one seems to care about the real issues, the plight of farmers in general. Will Natha’s threat of suicide lead to any real change ? Will he actually commit suicide or not ?


What charms you straight away is the simplicity of the storyline and narration. The earthy humour, the rustic feel, the genuineness of the characters, the songs and the lovely soundtrack, the choicest abuses, the great performances. And of course, the sheer absurdity of it all. The gift of a handpump, with no help for installation. The gift of a TV with erratic electricity in the village.


Moments that stay with you include Dhania’s aggressiveness and her running dialogue with her daughter in law, the ping pong battle between the CM and the Agriculture Minister, the images of the sweaty, wiry frame of the character named Hori, the sheer number of schemes that different govts have introduced and the little benefit that they have actually brought about. And the last few frames, which seem to tell a story by themselves.




However in the second half, there is an element of fatigue which sets in. The spectacle of 24*7 news coverage of Natha does begin to lose its charm, there is a lack of lack of newness in the second half, which just delivers more of the same as the first. In fact, while the film is interesting, the tv promo’s made the film fairly predictable



I think the film is a must watch if only to shame us city folk to stop complaining about trivial issues and pay heed to the trauma that afflicts most of our brethren in the villages. That it entertains us as well for most of the film can be considered a fitting bonus...

Rajneeti

Rating : 6/10
Release Date : 4th June, 2010
Time : ~170 minutes
Director & Writer : Prakash Jha; Co-Writer : Anjum Rajaballi; Music : Shantanu Moitra, Pritam, Wayne Sharp, Aadesh Shrivastav
Starring : Ranbir Kapoor, Manoj Bajpai, Katrina Kaif, Arjun Rampal, Nana Patekar, Nikhila Trikha

Weaving the stories of Mahabharat and Godfather together in a fast paced political thriller is a brilliant idea. Getting a high profile starcast together to essay the roles is a master stroke. The length, predictability and heaviness of subject matter are definitely issues. But some searing performances, most notably by Katrina Kaif and Manoj Bajpai, help overcome even the fact that at its core, there is no new message in the film. Its about politics…the grim, dirty, gory side of a power struggle between different factions.

So, lets get to know the contestants.
Faction one is led by Arjun Rampal, after his father’s death. Arjun is short tempered, urbane, feisty, prone to falling prey to some eye candy but inherently straightforward. He loves his younger brother, Ranbir, who’s busy with his PhD on Victorian poetry in USA and couldn’t care less about the politics at home. Both are guided by Nana Patekar, who’s unstintingly loyal to the family and happy to remain behind the scenes.

Faction two is led by Manoj Bajpai, after the unfortunate paralysis of his father, who until then was the leader of his party and of his family (and Arjun's dads elder brother). Manoj is single-minded in pursuit of power, very clear that he wants to rule, not let his uncle or his sons take over and determined to have his own way. He is joined by Ajay Devgn, the secret illegitimate elder brother of Arjun / Ranbir, an upcoming Dalit leader and strong arm man.


Katrina Kaif is the impulsive, spoilt daughter of one of the states wealthiest men and kingmaker, very much in love with Ranbir since childhood. However, Ranbir’s heart lies with Sarah Thomson, his girlfriend in USA.


The film is about the naked lust for power, the unquenchable thirst and love for occupying the seat of Chief Minister. All other emotions, grief, fairness, and even love, are sacrificed at the altar of politics.


Arjun Rampal was good, intense to watch, but at times slightly over the top. Ranbir delivers a controlled performance but, more due to his character’s fault than his acting, we’re not able to totally go along with his metamorphosis from nice, clean, apolitical man to scheming, conniving, killing machine. Ajay Devgn and Nana Patekar are both very good in slightly subdued roles. Nikhila Trikha, in the role of Arjun / Ranbir’s mom, is the weakest link, with a very insipid performance. But Katrina and Manoj are outstanding. Katrina also has to transform during the film. From being impetuous she has to become controlled. From being mistress of her own destiny, she has to bow to the wishes of others around her. And she does it all flawlessly, looking like a million bucks. And when she gives her first political speech, she does it with panache, making you root for her, as does the crowd. Manoj Bajpai is mesmerising, almost hypnotic, leaves no ambiguity about his character, plays him to a T, transforming into a person who’s lust for power is out of control.

Good photography, gritty & beautiful locales, panoramic crowd shots and reasonably tight editing works for the film. It does stretch the credibility though in quite a few places, is fairly predictable, there are quite a few threads left loose (the whole Dalit angle, the thoughts of Nana Patekar and why is he so loyal etc) and its definitely heavy, especially after the second half where it perhaps has a few turns, blasts and dead bodies too many. When you leave the hall, your head is heavy, there is no joy or exhilaration and its not the story but the performances and some of the characters that stay with you. Some of the key characters and plot lines weren’t developed enough – Ajay Devgn’s or even Arjun Rampal’s being cases in point.


It’s like tasting two familiar wines in known bottles but only they’re mixed together to create some new flavours and the glass in which its served is entirely new, adding to the entire taste and experience. And as with the wine, if you’re not careful, it could leave you slightly heavy-headed…

Chance Pe Dance

Rating : 4/10
Release Date : 15th Jan, 2010
Time : ~140 minutes
Director : Ken Ghosh; Writer : Ken Ghosh, Mupur Asthana; Music : Adnan Sami
Starring : Shahid Kapoor, Genelia D’Souza, Parikshat Sahni, Mohnish Bahl

For a movie that is supposed to be around dance, this one is no great shakes. Shahid is a struggling actor / dancer. Really struggling. He encounters nepotism, un-professionalism and we encounter some irritating sub-plots involving an itchy landlord, an ungrateful friend, a school dance competition with overly saccharine kids and the Delhi Municipality shutting down his fathers shop. The main story line has him meeting cute choreographer, Genelia and then him participating in a dance reality show.


Genelia is cute, Shahid cuter. There are nice dollops of humour – Shahid’s days of penury emphasised via his toasting bread and storing clothes innovatively, his ability to make a scooter start, the lungi ad and Genelia’s scooty driving habits. All enhance the cuteness. But then the weak storyline, excessive songs and ordinary dance moves more than make up the irritation quotient.

I missed a twist or two, and for a dance based movie, I missed seeing some dancing that would ‘blow your mind’, some really innovative moves. What we saw up there is stuff we see everyday – after the movie we came home and co-incidentally chanced upon a dance contest on Mahua TV and they were doing similar stuff to the film. And a nice, interesting plot would’ve helped too…

Main Aur Mrs Khanna

Rating : 2/10
Release Date : 16th Oct, 2009
Time : 130 minutes
Director & Writer : Prem Soni; Music : Sajid-Wajid
Starring : Salman Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Sohail Khan, Nauheed Cyrusi


This film shouldn’t have been given the censor certificate. All the paying audience, about 30 of us in the show I attended, should’ve been given our money back. Implausibility follows implausibility, stupidity follows asininess before an end that makes you cringe…the film is so bad that I’m lost for words


Salman meets Kareena and there is love at first sight. After a really stupid / implausible ‘separation’ of sorts, Sohail meets Kareena and again falls in love. Yet, he doesn’t tell her but chooses to help her, while she waits for miyan to return. Silly plot element follows dumb twists – including Bappi Lahiri as a duty free shop owner, a person pretending to be a Julia Roberts look alike and Preity Zinta pretending to be an item dancer a la Kajra Re…but not one character evokes sympathy, credibility or even a shred of connect with the audience…

Even the two points are purely because Kareena looks hot and because they’ve used a lovely song (from Saregama's collection, Bade Ache Lagte Hain…from the film Balika Badhu) twice in the background score…Sohail was decent, but he can be so much better. I can’t believe UTV bought and distributed this one… The film is so shallow that my toe couldn’t skinny dip in this pool…