Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu

Rating : 5/10
Release Date : 10th February, 2012
Time : 110 minutes
Director : Shakun Batra; Writers : Shakun Batra, Ayesha Devitre; Music : Amit Trivedi
Starring : Imran Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Boman Irani, Ratna Pathak Shah, Ram Kapoor, Zenobia Shroff, Rajesh Khattar, Dana Lewis

‘Arre darna kya, just tickle his balls’

This is a film which tries to be in the cute space and suceeds to an extent but its biggest flaw is its lead pair, who, though good on their own, do not work as a pair at all. It also follows a reasonably predictable path, with a sense of déjà vu as you watch events unfold as it feels like you’ve seen it all before.

‘Baby, don’t swallow, chew your food 32 times’

Imran is dominated by his parents, hilariously played by Boman & Ratna, and leads a fairly regulated and uptight life which takes a turn for the worse when he loses his job. He meets a stranger, Kareena, who is completely the opposite, happy, bubbly, impulsive. One drunken night later they are married. And that’s when the fun begins. Or does it ?

‘Chopsticks main kya kharabi hai’

A mish mash of various films, Hollywood & Bollywood, there are some surprises, some interesting characters (Kareena’s father & grandmother, Imran’s mother), some funny dialogue but overall it remains flat. Most hilarious sequence for me was Imran’s date with the girl of his parents choice.

‘Sher se kya poochna kitni baar shikar kiya hai’

It’s a romance, its sweet, has its share of moments of fun & frothiness. However, whether he looks tiny in front of her or she looks too old for him is semantics. They don’t look like a pair & the thought of falling in love seems odd, implausible. I was in a minority in the hall but I actually liked the ending, unusual in Hindi films. With all the other trappings of Dharma Productions (the slickness, the songs, the locales), am sure it will appeal to the group that looks for entertainment around Valentines Day.

Agneepath

Rating : 6/10
Release Date : 26th January, 2012
Time : ~155 minutes
Director : Karan Malhotra; Writers : Karan Malhotra, Illa Dutta Bedi based on the film of the same name by Mukul Anand; Music : Ajay Atul
Starring : Hrithik Roshan, Sanjay Dutt, Rishi Kapoor, Priyanka Chopra, Zarina Wahab, Om Puri, Zarina Wahab, Kanika Tiwari, Arish Bhiwandiwala, Chetan Pandit

The story is built on the simplest of emotions, revenge. A young boy loses his father in the most horrific of circumstances, strung up on the flimsiest of evidence in his own village. For the next fifteen years the boy is driven purely by, focused solely on vengeance. Even at the cost of separation from his young sister & mother, who doesn’t approve of his methods.

I enjoyed parts of this film.

The first half was slick, fast moving. It seemed the hero was not just using brawn but was also playing Machiavillean politics in Mumbai’s gang wars.

I got the stylisation.
The way the grimy city of Mumbai is depicted, replete with art deco slums.
Or the tiny island of Mandwa, with picture perfect views
The way colour is shown to splash during Ganpati. And the entire city is lit up & everyone turns up in their finery during the festival period.

The way Sanjay Dutt is made to look, oozing menace from every bald pore (though found his dialogue caricature-ish).
The way Rishi Kapoor is given the Muslim makeover, hennaed hair, stubble et all.
I liked Priyanka’s brief role, understood in part her relationship with our hero, the man for whom love is always secondary.
I really liked Hrithik. With all his Greek God looks, finely sculpted body, there always does seem to be a little boy somewhere around him. He can be intense in one scene, all anger and bloodshed yet look extremely vulnerable the next, misty eyed and aching for a loving touch.

What I didn’t get was the overall story. The end left me disappointed.
So what was the grand master plan for the revenge, the one he’d been cooking for fifteen years ? The way things panned out, it couldn’t have been how he conceived or wanted it to be ?
What was his relationship with the one honest cop in the system, Om Puri ? Why was he willing to ruin everything to protect him ? And vice versa.
The way he eventually went about things, the entire bit about the gang wars, the part since he had grown up, seemed unnecessary.
And I don’t get how our heroes seem to transform into superheroes. Most men would die or be close to it when they’ve had butcher knives poked in and out, been shot at or been tossed about like rag dolls. Our heroes seem to simply draw strength from such experiences.

Its grim, colourful, larger than life, tragic, touching and brawny at the same time. Watchable. But I guess I was hoping for something more, an extra layer beyond the blood thirst.

PS : slightly shamefully, for someone who confesses to be a hardcore AB fan, I don’t remember much of the original Agneepath. All I can plead in my defense is that its his earlier work that I am more enamoured by and can describe scene by scene. Be that as it may, am unable to compare the two.

I Hate Luv Storys

Rating : 5/10
Release Date : 2nd July, 2010
Time : 135 minutes
Director & Writer : Punit Malhotra; Music : Vishal - Shekhar
Starring : Imran Khan, Sonam Kapoor, Sammir Dattani, Samir Soni, Bruna Abdullah, Anju Mahendru

I hate Bollywood love stories. People seem to fall in love too easily. The characters are usually stereotypical, too black or white. And they’re very very predictable. This film is no exception, with only a certain freshness from its lead pair, Imran and Sonam, and some decent humour carrying it through. It is also so heavily inspired by the romantic track within Dil Chahta Hai that it could almost classify as a remake of the same (there is as much similarity between the two as between Chetan Bhagat’s book and 3 Idiots)


Imran, hates love stories or mushiness of any kind. He has a revolving door girlfriend policy. He works as an Assistant Director to a Bollywood director who specialises in corny love stories. And to make things worse, his new boss, Sonam, the art designer, is also as corny as they come, loves pink, chocolates, flowers and lovey dovey-ness of every kind. She’s engaged to be married to Sammir, childhood sweetheart, family friend, but boring, investment banker types, with romantic, weepy eyes and a disposition to match (gives her one white flower everyday, doesn’t drink on weekdays, for example, not that he seems like the kind who parties hard even on weekends). Sonam now has to choose. Who do you think she’ll go for ? (it’s a rhetorical question, BTW)

Leaving predictability (most love stories suffer from this) and imitation of DCH aside, what makes this film a strictly one time watch at best is the lack of depth of its lead characters. We don’t really understand them, understand the emotion they’re experiencing or really connect with them, remember them after the film. The line between friendship and love seems to blur too easily and conveniently. Imran and Sonam work as a pair, he being stiff and cute enough to have a girlfriend a day policy and she being candy floss-ish enough to make her character believable.


Some genuine funny moments are Imran’s interactions with Gabbar Singh, and also his experience with the cue-sheet towards the end. His friend, Samir, seems interesting (especially his T-shirts, graphs and advice) but is never sufficiently built up and neither is Sammir’s character. There was a more interesting angle in the film, why do good looking women fall in love with Mr Wrong vs Mr Right, but its never fully explored. Apart from Bin Tere, I found the songs also highly forgettable, esp the one song right at the end where we see too much of Imran (pun intended).


This film is cute. Works for a certain audience. I was never into cute…..

My Name Is Khan

Rating : 5/10
Release Date : 12th Feb, 2010
Time : ~160 minutes
Director: Karan Johar; Writer : Shibani Bathija; Music : Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy
Starring : Shahrukh Khan, Kajol, Yuvaan Makar, Sonya Jahan, Jimmy Shergill, Pravin Dabas, Arjun Mathur, Vinay Pathak, Zarina Wahab,Sugandha Garg, Arif Zakaria, SM Zaheer, Katie Keane, Kenton Duty, Benny Nieves, Christopher Duncan

A noble message, a simple point about how not every Muslim is a terrorist is stretched, dragged and repeated over 160 minutes, till the point we really stop caring. Shahrukh acts very well (though not worthy of hyperbole), Kajol is very good, better than a lot of the heroines currently out there, there is an eye-catching performance by Sonya Jahan as SRK’s sister-in-law and a nice cameo by Yuvaan as Kajol’s son. But in the second half, the film seems to lose its plot, becoming melodramatic, emotionally manipulative and totally unrealistic.



SRK plays Rizvan Khan, an autistic child, loved and adored by his mom (Zarina Wahab), who also teaches him valuable lessons about humanity, such as the all important “there are only two kinds of people in the world, good and bad. Nothing else matters”.
After her death, Rizvan goes to the USA to his resentful brother, Zakhir (Jimmy Shergill), who’s always grudged the attention lavished on Rizvan. His wife (Sonya) however, is affectionate and caring, making sure he settles in properly. When Rizvan, after an interesting courtship, decides to get married to Mandira (Kajol), a single mom with a 7 yr old son, Zakhir promptly severs relationship with him as she’s a Hindu. Then 9/11 happens and their world is never the same again.

Even though there is a sense of foreboding throughout the film, the first half is nicely balanced and enjoyable. Moments of humour, the courtship, Rizvan’s innocence and endearing ability make us sail through. The second half ruined the film for me, I actually thought it had ended at least thrice before it actually did and towards the end Rizvan almost becomes a superhero, an icon of sorts, doing incredible things and almost becoming a typical Bollywood hero


I wish Karan had made this film only for the international audience. He would have kept it much tighter then, not populated the film with numerous characters and sub-plots which were not really essential to main plot line. The central message of the film then would’ve truly flowered and the performances of the central characters stood out even more. There is an example of that in the film, one relationship that did touch me and it was shown without any histrionics, was the one between Kajol’s family and her white American neighbours…it was kept simple and totally real and hence was all the more enjoyable.

My abiding memory of the USA, esp in visits after 9/11, is of the number of flags that cropped up in every home and office and you were almost a traitor if you didn’t join in. How good-natured folk became tense and suspicious. How the Asian community was targeted in several places. And how this has still not completely gone away. So while I’ve no disagreement with the films intent, I do feel it could’ve been delivered in simpler and better fashion…

Kurbaan

Rating : 3/10
Release Date : 13th Nov, 2009
Time : 160 minutes
Director : Rensil D’Silva; Writer : Karan Johar & Rensil D’Silva; Music : Salim Sulaiman
Starring : Saif Ali Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Om Puri, Vivek Oberoi, Kirron Kher

Pure drivel and tommyrot in the garb of a slick and serious film. An extremely patchy script, pathetic ending – and I mean not just the end but the whole sequence, and weak acting leads to a film which makes you wonder, after its over, what was the message, what was the point it was trying to make ?


A very clichéd and hurried romance in Delhi leads to a Hindu professor, Kareena getting married to a co-professor, Saif, a Muslim, and then jetting off to NY as Kareena has an offer to teach there. Saif proposes to teach a course on Islam, which is accepted by the same univ. They also make friends with some neighbours, also Muslims, and soon Kareena realises there is something wrong going on. And then she realises Saif is involved. And Vivek Oberoi is the person who has to make things ok.

The plot is filled, I mean really packed, with implausibilities…the FBI, for example, has a photo of a terrorist but is struggling to locate him even though he has a Social Security registration, is likely to have a driving licence and is registered to teach as a prof in a univ ? Vivek Oberoi knows who are the terrorists, its clear that they’ve killed a person and bombed a flight but chooses to try and handle them himself vs calling the FBI / cops ? There are so many silly scenes – a shootout with cops that’s lame / implausible (cops cant use the registration # to locate the terrorists ? And burning corpses erases dental records ?). And don’t even get me started on the whole ending sequence…its lame, downright silly, filmi, and even from a relationship point of view, didn’t make any sense at all.

Saif looks stony and old. His romance with Kareena lacks the warmth & mischief which he normally brings to such portions. Vivek Oberoi was a huge casting mistake as his character needed to be able to emote, not just look like a scared scarecrow, which was pretty much his expression throughout most of the second half.

Om Puri and Kirron act well. Kareena is probably the only one who looked good and acted well. For her, respect !

The film made me squirm uneasily throughout its length. The directors point of view regarding Islamic fundamentalism was also unclear. Which side was he on ? What was the message he was trying to convey ? There is a sequence in Saif’s class on Islam that leaves you confused – is he actually supporting what the fundamentalists are doing ? ? And just because the Americans are doing it – in Iraq and Afghanistan – does that justify terror strikes against innocent people ?


Senseless, the film is even potentially dangerous in terms of its lack of message. The only target audience I can envisage enjoying this currently live in caves in Afghanistan and northwest Pakistan…

Dostana

Rating : 7/10
Running Time : 145 Minutes
Release Date : 14th Nov 2008
Director & Writer : Tarun Mansukhani; Music : Vishal-Shekhar
Starring : Abhishek Bachchan, Priyanka Chopra, John Abraham, Sushmita Mukherjee, Boman Irani, Bobby Deol, Kirron Kher

When you’re laughing so hard (and I mean really hard) in the first hour or so, half of it is due to some brilliant ones (like Abhishek’s response when Kunal (John Abraham) asks him how he knew his name) and the other half is as you watch the movie take you further in the realm of gay and straight sexual jokes than you ever thought it possible in mainstream Bollywood. And you laugh so hard that you’re willing to forgive the predictability of the plot, the slight overacting, the clichéd ‘gay’ mannerisms shown and the slightly stretched ending.


The story is simple – two straight men (John and Abhishek) have to pretend to be gay to get an apartment on rent in Miami. They share the flat with the landlady’s niece, Priyanka, and the rest of the movie deals with how their relationship with her develops. The story is kept briskly moving in terms of the different sub plots and cameos, such as the delightfully over the top Sushmita Mukherjee as the landlady, the whole thing about Priyanka’s work life and Kirron Kher playing an exaggerated Punjabi mom once again (isn’t she bored of playing this role ? She does it well but isn't she too talented to be stuck playing the same role…?).


The people who really make the movie come alive are Abhishek and Priyanka. Abhishek is at his expressive best, and even though his gay mannerisms are a bit too obvious, you forgive him as he brings a certain energy and vibrance to his role. He has now put together an impressive array of roles in his CV – from Yuva to Sarkar to Dus / Dhoom and now this. Priyanka, trust me on this one, has never looked hotter. I could probably write a page just on her, with maybe a paragraph just on her opening shot where the camera begins with a close-up of her lips and then lovingly caresses other body parts, totally inappropriately for a movie releasing on Children’s Day. The amazing thing is, on a recent flight I was watching parts of Drona, and you almost can't believe it’s the same pair in that film and this – what a change a good director and well-written roles make….

John alternates between his lost-puppy and his naughty-hunk look, seems content to play second fiddle to the smaller B. Boman Irani is a bit too la-di-dah in his gay avatar, I don’t really know if he and the Javier immigration guy were necessary at all. Sushmita provides one of the abiding memories of the film with her Marilyn Monroe photoshoot, and Bobby is a bit too straight (pun intended), too flat and a bit too love-sick in an otherwise mad movie.

The songs are brilliant – really get you going, feet tapping, heart racing and I’m sure I will hear nothing else on the radio stations / discotheques for the next month. The jokes, though, are what really set the movie apart. Such as when Abhishek is asked by this American guy what made him become a nurse or the whole theory about Gabbar being gay or the ‘aur bum ki baat ?’ Freudian slip or even the performance of ‘beedi jalaye le’. There are plenty of moments which stand out for their sheer humour – and its of a slightly more elevated level vs say a Golmaal Returns – not necessarily slapstick.

The best moments are when the three of them are together, especially in the first half, when they’re upto some madcap caper or another. The pace does drop a bit in the second half but at the end of the day, it’s a gay film which makes you feel precisely that – very very gay…though of course in another sense…