Tees Maar Khan

Rating : 3/10
Release Date : 24th December, 2010
Time : 135 minutes
Director : Farah Khan; Writer : Shirish Kunder; Music : Vishal – Shekhar & Shirish Kunder (background & title track)
Starring : Akshay Kumar, Katrina Kaif, Akshaye Khanna, Arya Babbar
There are three great moments in the film. First, I loved the opening credits (quite innovative) and funky with the title track playing in the background. Second were the end credits, with Farah Khan continuing her tradition of filming everyone during the roll, right from the lightboy to herself. Third was Sheila ki Jawani. Watching Katrina pulsate and groove on the big screen, with her dresses slung impossibly low (even lower than Shilpa Shetty’s sarees), was something special. The rest of the film was terrible.



The story is pure nonsense. A great con-man, played by Akshay Kumar (we’re never given any proof of his exploits apart from a very very silly airplane caper) is hired by the evil Siamese twins (Raghu & his twin brother) to recover their loot from the cops (the most bumbling kind you’ll ever see) who are transporting all 10,000 kgs via train. Apparently Akshay is the only guy who can do this. He concocts a truly artrocious, hare-brained scheme, enlists the support of a famous actor (Akshaye Khanna), who has an Oscar fetish, and a whole village of idiots to try to steal back the treasure. Will he succeed ? What will the evil brothers do ? Don’t hold your breath, it aint worth it…



Akshay over acted, tried too hard and was too loud in keeping with the general tenor of the film. Katrina, playing Askhay’s girlfriend and a wannabe item girl, was very good, both in terms of looks and performance, playing the bimbette to perfection. Akshaye demonstrated once more why he is a fantastic actor, wish we saw more of him and in better roles.


The jokes & even the capers are silly, crass and crude. Tawaif’s, dumb cops, lipstick marks, loud, almost fluorescent clothes. The only time the jokes are funny is when they’re the insider industry jokes and most of them are against SRK. His angst at missing out on Slumdog, the craving for an Oscar, the six packs. But sadly these moments are far and few in between.


This film is another of those where I’m left full of regret at what could’ve been. What a platform this film had built in terms of excitement, hype and music. It had brought the audiences flocking back to the screens. Alas, its life is likely to be even shorter than Shelia’s now infamous Jawani…

Race

Rating : 8/10
Running Time : 154 Minutes
Release Date : 21st Mar ‘08
Director : Abbas-Mastan ; Writer : Shiraz Ahmed ; Music : Pritam
Starring : Saif Ali Khan, Akshaye Khanna, Bipasha Basu, Katrina Kaif, Anil Kapoor and Sameera Reddy, Dalip Tahil

One non stop adrenalin rush….more twists and turns than the crookedest street in the world (San Francisco)…a plethora of pretty, skimpily clad (young ?) things…a horde of handsome hunks and highly strung horses …and full of fast cars and even faster double-crosses … kind of like ‘Wild Things’ on skates…

Life is not easy for Ranbir Singh (Saif), elder brother and primary heir of a large horse racing empire. He is ruthless and plays hard but fair (unlike the Aussie cricketers who only pretend to do so). He is saddled with a few double crossers, an alcoholic good for nothing younger brother Rajiv (Akshaye) and some unidentified people trying to kill him…but he’s indestructible and aided by a gorgeous girlfriend (Bipasha) and sexy secretary (Katrina) he’s not doing too badly, despite the evil machinations of rival horse owner (Dalip Tahil)….

Now, that’s all I can reveal about the story – else I will start giving away key plot elements…suffice to say that the next 150 minutes go very easily in one breathless rush, hardly giving pause for air, in a very slick, sensational mix of cross and double cross…

Its very nicely done. The key characters are sufficiently built, they (and some of the stunts) are definitely over the top but not beyond the point of losing credibility or stepping into the territory of ridiculousness. And its very slick, very heady and you’re begging for more when it ends (I really hope they’re thinking of a part2).


Star of the movie, beyond a doubt was Saif. The man has reinvented himself so many times that you’ve run out of counting fingers…this is a new, lean, mean, muscular action hero. Looking every inch the part…no more adorable, boy next door, no more the lovable rogue. This is a serious, restrained, brilliant performance. And he looks every inch the part – in fact the only time he looks out of sorts is when he is dancing some silly steps in one or two songs. Akshaye was good – he’s got a meaty role and does enough with it to make it credible. Bipasha was hot as ever as was Katrina (in a slightly smaller role). Sameera and Anil Kapoor come on as detectives in the second half – I thought some of the humour here was out of place, not needed – too slapstick and unnecessarily crude / sexist. Both did their roles justice though and I really admire the way Anil has managed to reinvent himself as well. Sameera also proves she can act if you can look beyond her more obvious assets.

It was a very enjoyable experience and having it set in one of the most beautiful countries in the world (South Africa) helps add to the glamour quotient. Like this review, most of the movie is about hyperbole but there are enough thrills and spills to make the price of the entry ticket worth it ! a very well spent three hours…beautiful people, beautiful places and some very evil thoughts and devious plans…I’ll fall for it hook, line and sinker every time…