De Dana Dan

Rating : 3/10
Release Date : 27th Nov, 2009
Time : 165 minutes
Director & Writer : Priyadarshan; Music : Pritam
Starring : Akshay Kumar, Katrina Kaif, Suneil Shetty, Sameera Reddy, Asrani, Johnny Lever, Rajpal Yadav, Archana Puran Singh, Chunky Pandey, Paresh Rawal, Shakti Kapoor, Neha Dhupia, Aditi Govitrikar, Sharat Saxena, Vikram Gokhale
I’ve liked some of Priyadarshan’s comedies before – Hera Pheri and Bhool Bhoolaiyan were both v good. But I didn’t like Bhagam Bhag and I most certainly didn’t like this. Very very loud (a very shreiky Archana Puran Singh in particular managing to crack the pain barrier a few times), very very slapstick, full of facial contortions, sleazy and vulgar in parts and completely storyless and also completely over the top.


Akshay and Suneil are both down and out, strugglers in Singapore. They both have rich girlfriends though (Katrina and Sameera respectively), and in order to make their marriages materialise, they decide to kidnap Akshay’s employers beloved dog. Things go wrong, both the girls are engaged to marry Chunky Pandey, who is a scamster businessman, Paresh Rawal’s son, who in turn is being chased by a cop for cheque bouncing. The mafia (Asrani) also gets involved, along with his hitman (Johnny Lever). And everyone lands up at the Pan Pacific hotel.


I don’t think they left out any comedian in the industry yet managed to produce an unfunny film. Terrible songs (really terrible), desperate hamming in the name of acting and a brainless plot combine to make a film that was painful to watch.


However, fair to point out that my kids had a rollicking time as did a few others in the hall, so perhaps my poison is another man’s tea…

2012

Rating : 6/10
Release Date : 20th Nov, 2009
Time : 158 minutes
Director : Roland Emmerich; Writer : Roland Emmerich & Harald Kloser; Music : Harald Kloser & Thomas Wanker
Starring : John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Thandie Newton, Oliver Platt, Woody Harrelson, Danny Glover, Zlato Buric, Johann Urb, Beatrice Rosen, Liam James, Morgan Lily, Chin Han, Osric Chau, Jimi Mistry
Its cheesiness personified, it’s a ‘disaster movie’, very filmi, very Americanised, and very predictable. Yet, through the charms of John Cusack, the non-stop tension built up, the amazing special effects and great acting by most of the supporting cast, it still manages to tug at your heart strings, makes you care…


The Mayans predicted it, modern scientists discovered it recently, that due to a unique line up of planets, occurring every 640,000 years, the world is about to come to an end in 2012. The Earths crust is going to be displaced, massive earthquakes, tsunamis, melting of the Earth’s core are just some of the scenarios predicted. A scientist in India (Jimi Mistry, with a horrible Americanised Hindi accent) is the first to connect the dots, he works with Chiwitel who in turn works with Oliver Platt who in turn works with the US President, Danny Glover as they tackle this crisis.


The key ‘human angle’ plot involves a divorced, failed novelist, cum limo driver, John Cusack taking his kids out camping with the permission of his ex-wife, Amanda Peet, and her new husband. How he gets involved in the whole thing and then tries to save his family. Further sub-plots include a Tibetan monk in China, the getting together of the worlds G8 nations, the relationship between John Cusack and his son, who seems to be closer to his new step-dad and Woody Harrelson as the secret reporter, who knows what the G8 nations are upto…


Yet again, apart from one very minor thing about the Tibetan monk, all sub-plots involved Americans or in one case a Russian, based out of the USA. And that bugged me, for some reason. Americans lead the entire planet saving effort and the whole world more or less listens and dances to their tune. That bugged me as well. The movie could’ve been a lot better, if it had some more ‘global’ sub-plots, a more global feel. The special effects are great. And they don’t stop coming…one after another, they just keep throwing them at you (pun intended)…The ending was more than a bit corny but still finds a way to make you feel good.


Its not bad, worth a look see and it does manage to evoke some emotions, makes us fall in love with mankind, with life itself. And since the scale is what sets it apart, definitely in the cinema vs a DVD.

Beowulf

Rating : 7/10
Release Date : Nov, 2007
Time : 109 minutes
Director : Robert Zemeckis; Writer : Neil Gaiman & Roger Avary (based on an Old English tale); Music : Alan Silvestri
Starring : Ray Winstone, Anthony Hopkins, John Malkovich, Robin Wright-Penn, Brendan Gleeson, Alison Lohman, Angelina Jolie
Some legends invoke feelings of heroism, adventure, make goose-bumps come all over and entice you to prance around with swords and helmets, slaying imaginary dragons. This tale is one of them. For added incentive, its ‘motion-capture’ animation leads to as life like imagery as animation can get and its star-studded ensemble cast, including the likes of Ray Winstone, Anthony Hopkins and Brendan Gleeson, not only lend voice, but also form and faces to the characters.


A monster named Grendel (who interestingly only speaks in Old English), terrorises the kingdom ruled by Hrothgar (Hopkins), an ageing king who loves mead (wine), women and the occasional party. However, the noise from his merry-making is exactly what provokes Grendel to visit, thus making his mead-hall also a place of sorrow. Along comes Beowulf, a Geat warrior, one of the true adventurers and slayers of several creatures. Overcoming Ungerlaf’s (John Malkovich as the kings advisor) scepticism (“tell me, is it true that you lost a swimming match vs Braac ?”)and also putting aside the obvious admiration of the lovely queen Whealthow (Robin Wright-Penn), he now prepares for the battle with Grendel by opening up the mead-hall and getting his men to sing, loudly.



We witness fights with not only Grendel, but also Grendel’s vengeful mother (Angelina Jolie) and a fire-spewing vicious dragon. We see the ice-cold, frigid countryside being lit up by these amazing battles. And we see some fascinating relationships, how Beowulf copes with advancing age and responsiblity, his relationship with the steady, even-headed queen, the exchange between him and the king Hrothgar and finally, his camaraderie with his fierce and trusted lieutenant, Wiglaf (Gleeson).



There are moments when you have to blink and remind yourself that you’re watching animation – the characters are so life like, with true skin colour and the actual faces. And it’s a gripping story, not letting up for even a moment, enveloping you into its world and not slowing down – either you’re involved in the action or a fascinating relationship progression.




A great music score and a superb ending only serve to enhance the film. Excellent, almost impassive, performances by Winstone and Gleeson, as well as Wright-Penn stand out in our memory while Jolie’s little cameo lends the film its undeniable oomph factor…our first glimpse of her, as she steps out of the pool, her form encased in liquid gold is hard to forget. John Malkovich’s role wasn’t totally fleshed out, too little was made of this. Also, didn’t totally understand the significance of the Golden Horn. But neither distracted from the enjoyment of the film.

It’s a bit vicious, gory and dark, especially in the first half hour, but once it picks up, there’s no stopping the roller coaster ride. This one is ‘A’ film and definitely unsuitable for children, both for its extreme violence as well as for its sexual overtones and imagery. I’ve grown up watching animation features from Disney and Pixar, but even for me this was a new experience. One I’m not going to forget in a hurry…